Between Me and You

Last night I dreamt of falling face down
into my bathtub filled with lukewarm water

I dreamt of opening my eyes underneath
and finding you shriveled
like a grape and smiling
needing an oxygen-filled kiss from me

I dreamt of passing back and forth
that one breath
and having it last forever.

Poem: 9.21.2003

Levi's Kind of Love

There is nothing I'd like more
than to fast forward us to that stage
where you just come home to my house
after work and we talk about the day
while I paint my toenails
or where we wake up lazily together
on a Saturday and stumble,
together again, out to breakfast.

I'd like very much to discover
a forgotten garment of yours
mixed in with my laundry
and enjoy the simple beauty of
two toothbrushes in my stand by the sink,
instead of the somber one
I usually find.

It is the this stage we are at
that is awkward and uncomfortable,
a sock with a hole in it
that strangles your toe,
and I'd like so much to
already be comfortable.

But comfort comes in due time,
I suppose...after all,
those jeans you love,
you've had them for years
and that makes you love them,
despite the battered knees
and distressed seams...
Its the softness and familiarity you love,
as I am sure one day, I will be able to say
about you.

vomit: an ugly title

i'm lost inside everyone else.

i only wish i could get lost inside of me.

but getting lost inside myself
is sort of like going to grandma's house--
it's too familiar to forget.

if i could, say, get lost
inside myself
i am sort of scared at what i would
rediscover.

certainly, i could use a spring cleaning
too many cobwebs, mysterious creatures lurking in the shadows
dirty corners with carcases half eaten
by the spiders of my subconcious

i wonder if anyone else imagines their imaginations
like a closet in the hall?

it's nice, though, and i think you'll agree
to just close the door to myself
and get lost in others
it's easier to love others
to expel the demons of others
to weep about others
to believe in others

i think of my hall closet as a narnia of sorts
a portal to another land
only mine leads to destruction
self-doubt, inconsistency, fear
ambivelence, solitude, dangerous games


maybe it isn't a spring cleaning but an overhaul

i thought i had cleaned it all out
that the exterminator had redeemed the cleanliness
of my house
but today there was a roach crawling out
from underneath my door